What Type of ‘Horn’ Do You Have?
Listen up chums and pals! Here is a test to determine what type of Horn you have. If you don't understand what I am saying, then you are le stupid and must read these books as soon as possible. Leave your results in the comments section!
1. You have a boyfriend who you have been seeing for a while now. Things are getting more serious. One night you go to the bar and see a cute guy. You think:
a. I’d like to snog him to within an inch of my life
b. He’s cute, I do fancy him, but I’m already snogging a Sex God
c. What cute guy? I have eyes only for the Sex God
2. You are still with said boyfriend (the Sex God), when you see your mate walking around with a cute guy you snogged back in the day. They’re holding hands. You think:
a. I’m pretty jealous because he is an ex-snogee and also a particularly good nip libbler
b. Hm, he’s pretty groovy and the cat’s pajamas. So are his dishy mates. BUT I AM THE GIRLFRIEND OF A SEX GOD.
c. Who even notices that? I’ve never snogged anyone aside from my boyfriend.
3. One of your best friends has started seeing your ex-snogee. You notice that he doesn’t give her a quick kiss when he meets up with her. You:
a. Vindictively think that he obviously doesn’t like her and think about how he’s quite groovy looking
b. Think it’s weird, but, HELLO, you’re dating a Sex God
c. Oh, sorry, I was too wrapped up with Hunky, what did you ask again?
4. Your friend is dumped by her new fling only weeks after they became snogging partners. You:
a. Think about how they didn’t work well together anyway and avoid even talking about the subject manner because you’re suddenly feeling guilty
b. Feel badly, and think that he’s kind of cute, but you’re still dating a Sex God
c. Comfort her and give her a Jammy Dodger to make her feel better
If you answered MOSTLY As, then you have THE COSMIC HORN
You, like Georgia, cannot get a hold on your red-bottomosity. You accidentally snog your friends’ boyfriends at fish parties, and cannot seem to control the puckerability of your lips. You see all boys as potential snogging partners (well, accepting cases like Spotty Norman and Mark Big Gob). Sometimes, you can’t even differentiate between inanimate objects, cats, and boys, such is your way of fancying everything in the universe.
If you answered MOSTLY Bs, then you may have the GENERAL HORN
Again, like Georgia you fancy loads of people. To differentiate from the Cosmic Horn, you don’t necessarily act on your urges. You may or may not flaunt your red bottomosity and snog your friends’ boyfriends, but you are not yet to the point where you would fancy everything in the universe.
If you answered MOSTLY Cs, then you have the SPECIFIC HORN
Like those with huge knockers and annoying fringes, you fancy only one person. Like Jas and Hunky, you have no desire whatsoever to snog another. And think your best mate, who has a touch of the red bottomosity about her, is awful for accidentally snogging her friend’s boyfriend.